Imagine a world where all of your favorite social media platforms are people. Imagine each of those people worked together in big business — and each had a particular role for the company.
Which platform would lead the pack? Which would be Human Resources? You may not realize it now, but social media platforms take on very specific roles — personally and professionally, via social media marketing — and work together to build your whole online presence.
Here’s how they would fit in an office:
Facebook: The Head Honcho
Surprised to read that Facebook is the big boss man in the corner office? You shouldn’t be. It continues to soar past the competition in total users and daily logins. It even gave itself a small facelift (hey, it’s hard being the boss) in July 2015, to stay on pace with the worker bees in the relevancy department.
Twitter: The HR Guru
When users are displeased with a product or service, studies find that they turn to Twitter before they pick up a phone for help. Twitter is there to serve as the HR/customer service guru. Back in the day, unhappy folks would walk into stores and flip the customer service rep the bird, but now instead they turn to their smartphones. Therefore, community management on Twitter is key.
Instagram: The PR Department
Any decent public relations professional will tell you it’s key to maintain a company’s image. Instagram is your over-caffeinated, working-from-dusk-til-dawn PR pal. Although huge public disasters in business and entertainment (hello, Kanye West!) require more than simply applying a filter, Instagram does let you display your prettiest achievements. Even if that achievement is only a selfie with two Face Tune sessions…just add three filters and make a light adjustment. Save some face, ya’ll.
LinkedIn: The Trusty Sales Team
Did someone say “networking party?” LinkedIn is your trusty sales team, shaking hands, kissing babies and swooning potential customers everywhere. Landing a big connection is almost as good as landing a date with that person you keep seeing at the Starbucks by your office that you’re too afraid to talk to in person. Or so I’ve heard.
Google+: The IT Team
No one but the IT team really knows what the IT team does, but they do it and everyone else just accepts it because they know it helps drive people to the website. Or something like that.
Pinterest: Cheryl*, The Water Cooler Gossip Queen
Want to know the what’s what on anything? Pinterest (Cheryl) has your answer…and if she doesn’t, you better believe it doesn’t exist. But take warning: Approaching Cheryl might seem like the quick fix to any problem, but you could soon find yourself in a deep spiral of conversation and waste your entire workday.
Snapchat: The Intern
Eager to please and ready to work, social media’s kid brother Snapchat serves as the office intern. Finishing up his last year at Stanford (where the creators actually went), he brings a new and fresh feeling to the office. He’s Mr. Popularity, and people are always interested in what he is up to (even though you’re SURE Cheryl told you he only landed the job because his uncle is in the IT department). No one has ever seen him, though.
Myspace: Original Founder
Inside Facebook’s corner office, just above its rich, mahogany desk, hangs a gold framed photo of the original Godfather of social media, Thomas Anderson. In 2003, millions of people signed onto Myspace, where Tom, his goofy smile, nearly stained white tee and disaster of a dry-erase board awaited them. Thus, social media was born, and actually making eye contact on a New York City subway died a slow, painful death (thank goodness, amirite?).
There you have it, folks. All the social platforms you know and love, sorted into a business model.
*Note: No Cheryl’s were offended in the writing of this blog. If you have a Cheryl in your office, please apologize for me.